Letters To The Editor

Sister Adrian Crowned Exalted High Priestess

Dear Editor/Mike,
Thanks for the great plug in your paper! But it did have one typo. The firm I work for is called "Divorce For Men Only"; doesn't that make more sense?
Also I have included some addresses of friends who I know would love to receive your "news"letter.
Hope you have great holidays, and a Happy New Year!
As always,
Sister Adrian Reinhard
Exalted High Priestess Pleasant Hill, CA

Editors Note:
Thank you Sister Adrian for setting the record straight and you can be sure we will add sisters Barb Benton, Shelia (Horner) Brown, Janice Heiner and of course the famous Hairy family of Bob and Paula (Rheinhard) Morgan to our exclusive Hairy mailing list.
Considering your overly active participation in the sisterhood of Highlander Hairydom we are proud to announce your appointment as "The Hairy Sisterhood Exalted High Priestess." Congratulations Sister Adrian!

Letters to the Editor (cont'd)
It's All About Envy...So Who's Doing Time?

Dear Editor/Mike,
I got your recent issue of HLN and really got off on it. I also wanted to take a stab at answering a question you posed in your letter from the editor. And that is the question of what is Harry Lawn News about?

I think it`s about Envy. I think if the election of Bill Clinton has taught us anything, it is that there is a big market for this, the meanest and perhaps most pervasive of human emotions. And, of course, the flipside of envy is derision, that satisfaction derived from knowing that one's own lot is at least better than say that of Jimmy Polse.

So I think you'll really begin to enlarge your audience if you start to do more features. And I suggest "unauthorized" features sort of in the style of the National Enquirer. I mean, God forbid, no one wants to know that, for example, Glenn Gundirt is a successful CPA in San Diego, still surfs every day, is still single, and is dating and presumably getting laid daily by one of the Charger cheerleaders.

No. Deep down we all want to hear about one of our old classmates whose situation can be soundly lampooned. In other words, no matter how well someone may seem to be doing, the focus of your article needs to be on that person`s seamy side that lies just beneath the surface.

And your articles can be chock full of rumor and innuendo because we all know that if we went over to that subject`s house and opened enough closets, we'd find plenty of skeletons.

I think to get this unauthorized feature aspect of your paper kicked off properly it would be good to profile someone who may be doing time now. By the way, what're Steve Fleagle and Mark Roemer doing these days?

Once you have your paper properly focused in the aforementioned manner, I think you`ll go over the top with it. Just as there are scads of companies out there organizing reunions, your could market this high school newsletter service.
Mike, think of all the desperate unemployed reporters there are out there who could go to work for you, hunting down their hapless high school chums. In fact, I think you should find a really unscrupulous underwriter who'll take you public right away so you can raise say about 20 million. (Who was that guy from First Jersey Securities? "Come grow with us.") That way you can open in about 50 cities and 300 high schools to start.

And then, finally, I suggest you relocated your headquarters to Luxembourg or Abu Dhabi or someplace where the U.S. doesn`t have any extradition treaties for securities fraud, just in case it all doesn`t work out.

Larry Kelly
Piedmont, CA

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